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The Cash is Always Greener
The Cash is Always Greener is a special episode of Red vs. Blue made in 2006 for Forbes. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Grif Blue Team *Church Other *Doc Synopsis Sarge and Grif begin a video for Forbes when Sarge attempts to pitch "Sarge's Unique Money Making System" and cuts to fake testimonials from Church and Doc. Transcript Fade into Sarge and Grif standing next to each other. Sarge: '''Oh why hello, and welcome to the wonderful world of video games. I know many of you think as just a place to go and have fun and kill lots of stuff. Which it is! But video games can also be so much more. '''Grif: Right, we can use games for educational purposes, or for movie making as well. Sarge: And they can be a powerful way to build personal wealth. Grif: 'What? '''Sarge: '''Using my unique video game money making system; patent pending, you can build a financial empire! Mine! '''Grif: '''I don't think we're suppose to use this video to push our personal products Sarge. '''Sarge: '''Exactly, but don't take our word for it, listen to these satisfied suckers-I mean customers. ''Screen slides over to Church with many vehicles behind him. '''Church: I've only been in this game for two rounds. A picture of Sarge holding a bag of money with more around him and two red flags behind him appears next to Church. Church: 'But using Sarge's unique money making system, I've already built wealth beyond my wildest imagination! ''A ten dollar bill with with a picture of Sarge appears next to Church '''Church: I already own two flags! See this tank? I paid cash for it! A sign which says $$CASH$$ slides across Church. Church: And this base? I got it for no money down! See this rifle? Church raises his battle rifle. Church: I took it from a dead guy! And I didn't pay inheritance tax! A No Symbol sign appears with the words Dead Guy Tax in it. Church: Thanks video games! Screen slides back to Sarge. Sarge: ''(chuckles) But don't take his word for it. One person making something up is a liar. A bunch of people making something up is a paradigm! Here's another testimonial! ''Screen slides over to Doc. Doc: '''Thanks to Sarge's unique money making system that he calls the Three Dimensional Triangle, I'm building amazing personal wealth! All I had to do was send Sarge ten dollars- ''A pyramid guide appears next to Doc, with the words above saying "Sarge's Unique Money Making System" (S.U.M.M.S.®')'' '''Doc:' -and get ten friends to send Sarge ten dollars, and get ten of their friends to send Sarge ten dollars! It's awesome! In six weeks, Sarge will have a hundred and ten dollars and I'll have no friends! Thanks video games! Cut back to Sarge. Sarge: '''Using my unique video game money making system; patent pending, you'll be on you way to financial freedom! And you can have everything you ever dreamed of. And once you run out of your own dreams, you'll still have enough money to buy other peoples dreams! Hah! Take that you stupid dreamers! '''Grif: '''Sarge, we can't use this opportunity to Forbes to spout our nonsensical financial theories. Come on, be professional. '''Sarge: I guess I shouldn't show my power point of the benefits of a flat tax then. Grif: 'Oooooh. Low blow dude. ''Fade to black. '''Sarge: ''(voice) ''Thanks video games! Video Category:Special Episode Category:Episodes